So it's the Fourth.
I hope you all know that 200+ yrs ago, a bunch of guys died for your right to barbeque, drink beer and listen to REO Speedwagon, and to get drunk and fuck around with fireworks. Unless you live in Maine, in which case all you can dick around with is sparklers. Which, unless you concider pinpoint third-degree burns, aren't all that fucking dangerous.
So get drunk, scream "AMERICA!!! WOOOOOOO!!!" and do it for me. Cos as we all know, no one loves America more than me. Except for maybe a couple of Republicans. And this one guy that lives in the Ozarks and still thinks the Civil War is going on. And a few foreigners that came over here from some impoverished shitty country.
Okay, so maybe a lot of people like America more than me. Forget it.
Happy Fourth, everyone.